PARTY TIME!

I almost have no comment for this submission. This link tells the story of a rooftop in Manhattan that plays host to big parties every week. I can't even describe to you how much this entire scene seems not fun to me. There's the dancing around in bikinis and heels (I'm not a fan of the flip flop, but if ever an item of clothing was designed to be worn with one, it's the swimsuit), the multitudes of people, the heat, the loud music that prevents you from chatting with your friends. And so on. Yes, I'm kind of old and crotchety, but, man. I much prefer lounging next to the pool with a drink in your hand to this far more predatory version. The best part, if you read into the story a bit, is the cost for this very hip event.

Regardless, it seems that the caption writer was so distracted by the bikini-clad beauties in the photo that basic sentence structure was completely forgotten:

NYers, tell me how to pronounce that word. You know the one. 

It's like madlibs in a newspaper. Did they mean strut? Shake? Show? Based on the tattoos, maybe it's label? What would you put there?

In addition, on the second line of the caption, we get a bonus s and e, just in case you were missing those letters. I am really curious to know what happened there. Perhaps those letters fled some other story, and are hiding out there in the caption, trying to stay alive. I expect that by the time stories arrive at an editor's desk, the letters are all quivering in fear. Or maybe not? Who knows. But I will say that at this point, S and E, you have achieved a reprieve. FOR NOW.  May the odds be ever in your favor.

(Thanks once again, MSM!)

Tiny humans need clothes, too.

Kids are a strange breed, aren't they? I don't think it'll come as a surprise to anyone that knows me when I say I don't know anything about them. They're tiny humans, but they have their own things going on, with their own foods, and their own toys, and their own language. It's a complete mystery to me. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy your kids. They really do say the darnedest things. Most often, when they are perched on your lap, discussing something of the utmost importance to them, and you're just struggling to keep up. Remember what I said about their own language? I often think that one of the most difficult challenges a parent faces is keeping that brightness alive while coaching them to live in our much more confined world of adults and rules. I have no idea how that's done. Fortunately, there are resources out in the interwebs to guide you. To help you encourage your child's inner warrior poet, so to speak. Y'know. As you do. And obviously, you want this to be reflected in your kid's clothes. Clothes that have a certain special SOMETHING.

That's a lot of capital letters, is what I'm saying. 

Yep, hanging over the edge again. Just wanted to make sure you could see the problem. Which is, of course, children's clothing that comes with FLARES. I feel confident no one in the world wants to buy explosive children's clothing. That seems like the opposite of good parenting. FLAIR. Like the buttons on your shirt when you work at a themed restaurant. Unlike the bell bottom of your jeans.

There are other quibbles, but they're more of a personal preference. I probably would have used further instead of farther, but as we're talking a metaphorical distance, either is fine. I also probably wouldn't have used crusade, as it can have a negative connotation. Additionally, it seems to me to be kind of the wrong word. And inside the quotes, I probably would have said "To build..." since that flows better.

Has anyone gotten clothes from this company? Are they awesome? Do I need to investigate them for the kids in my life?

(Thanks, MSM for sending this in!)

Poorly trained

I don't really have a lot to say about this submission, except that I expect better of the LA Times. Here's the story as it appears right now, with the error corrected.

And here is the error, as it appeared in the print version, in the right-column story at the top of the front page:

I am pro-train, but only because I'd like to see more of California. 

Seriously? Corrider? That's a shame. I also feel like the National Railway of France deserves to have Railway capitalized, but maybe not. That one, I'm not sure of. But one thing I do know? It's CORRIDOR.

(Thanks again to SH!)

I OBJECT.

It's Monday. I'm sorry. Let's just dive in, shall we?

Looking past the fact that this appears to be a very sad story, let's focus in on the copy.

I'm pretty sure this is in the dictionary under "clunktastic." 

I made it super-big so y'all can see it. I know it spills over a bit. Sacrifices! Now, we could do an in-depth rewrite here. But I don't think y'all have that kind of time. Here are the highlights: in the third line, there appears to be some capital letter confusion, as well as a missing comma. The fourth line features an m instead of an n. I also would probably have put a hyphen between 25 and year. Also, also, I wouldn't have capitalized probably. The fifth line is missing a g and another hyphen. That missing g turns up in the sixth line, but a comma or two have gone astray. And finally, for the grand finale, that last line features a reward for all your trouble up to this point. Purgery while under oath? Is that like vomiting on the stand? Or when you just can't stop talking? Who knows. PERJURY. That's the one about lying. The one you mean. I can understand not knowing some of the grammar rules in the world, but you can look perjury up in a dictionary. You can even look up purgery, and find perjury, as I was able to.

How do we convince people that no one will take them seriously if they don't take themselves seriously? Or do most people really not care about these things, and it's just us, alone on this island? If it is, I call dibs on the leftover pizza. It's MINE. GET YOUR OWN.

(Thanks, SH, for this submission!)

Presented Without Comment.

Photo by KS

(Thanks, KS!)

Happy Friday!

Hi, all! Welcome, once again, to that beautiful beast known as Friday. Got big plans for the weekend? I have to be somewhere by 9 AM Saturday morning, which is just brutal for us unemployed people. But then on Sunday, I have a brunch scheduled, which should make up for that 9 AM call very nicely.

As usual, I just want to let you know where else you can connect with the blog:

On Twitter.

On Facebook.

Via email.

Please keep an eye out for spelling errors this weekend. The coffer's feeling a smidge light currently, and I'd love to see what you've found. Thanks, all!

Today's Presented Without Comment features a big summer reality show, and it's pretty awesome. Have a good weekend, everyone! See you back here on Monday.

Yup.

Listen, y'all. I don't care who you vote for. Just vote, ok? Make sure, when the time comes, you do your homework and you vote the way your gut tells you to. Talk to your friends, do some googling, watch the debates, whatever you need to do to learn about the candidates and how they feel about what's important to you. Don't listen to just any fool and allow them to lure you into thinking the way they do, especially when they put on their Fool Hat and strut around like a foolish peacock, displaying their idiocy for everyone to see. Is that harsh? Maybe. Maybe not.

Photo by someone on FB. If it was you, please let me know!

Hey, Kettle, it's Pot. You're black. I mean, COME ON. The best part is that when I googled, trying to find some sort of ownership, google asked me if I meant "to prove you're not an idiot" and I agreed, of course, that *I* did, but that person did not, and I had to search again, because google just wants me to be happy and grammatically correct.

But as I've said before, the point is this. If you want people to take you and your opinions seriously, you MUST spell them correctly, and use proper grammar. You just have to. Otherwise, you look like a petulant child, stomping his foot at your disagreement. Or, well, it almost goes without saying, an idiot.

(Thanks to MLW for sending this to me!)

The source of all evil

Just to let you guys know, almost all the spelling errors I find on local newscasts are from the SAME CHANNEL. Now, yes, I did see one on another channel the other day, and I didn't grab it, because I didn't want to feature the story it was attached to in any way, but yeah. For the most part, they're all coming from the same place. Potentially even the same person. That's kind of crazy, yo.

Here's one I saw just a few days ago:

Photo by me. I'm not really getting any better at photographing my TV. At least it's HD.

Now, look. I have some THOUGHTS on this story. And not all of them are particularly generous. However, I think we can all agree that STOPPING bullying is important. Because who the heck even knows how stoping bullying would happen. I don't know how to stope. (That's clearly the root of stoping, right?) Do you? What do you think stope means? A combination of stoop and lope, perhaps? It's like a sniglet (blog reader age check IN EFFECT), but not quite as funny, because combining stooping and loping isn't necessary to the earth, I don't think.

I could be wrong. Stoping could be the perfect word to describe your average werewolf's gait, for example. Werewolves, let me know if you'd like to adopt that word. It's yours for the taking!

(Note: if any werewolves ACTUALLY contact me, I will let you all know IMMEDIATELY. From a safe, remote location. WAIT. Remote is probably a bad idea. From a safe, very big city location.)

BACON!!!

Ah, bacon. It makes everything better, doesn't it? I enjoy that in the past couple of years, bacon has suddenly become a hip food, and people are putting bacon in all sorts of places perhaps bacon shouldn't necessarily go. Bacon doesn't need to be everywhere, y'all. By limiting it a bit, we will keep it special and something of a treat. Bacon should not become ubiquitous. It is too magical for such a thing.

I don't actually know much about other pork products, especially the foreign ones. I bring up bacon because it's my favorite, but also because the internet tells me pancetta is often called Italian bacon, though that description is not entirely accurate. And pancetta is what brings us here today. My friend AN lives in Utrecht, in the Netherlands, and snapped this photo outside a cafe a few weeks ago.

Photo by AN

Oh, dear. I can understand how it might be confusing, since that is how the word is pronounced, but perhaps the sign makers of the Netherlands have not gotten the "you can google things" memo. Also, are we going to guess that Megusta Caffe is probably supposed to be Me Gusta instead? Maybe. Maybe not. That would be Italian, Dutch, Spanish, AND English on one sign. THAT WAY LIES MADNESS.

Sadly, this word continues to stump this restaurant. Another sign, same place:

Photo by AN

Same handwriting, right? Unfortunately, sign-maker, it wasn't the second T that was the problem. But good guess! Maybe one day, you'll get it. But until then, you go on with your mad linguistic skillz. You've still got perhaps 3 languages going on in this sign, and that's more than I can scrape together on any given day. I have a hard enough time with the one I supposedly speak fluently!

(Thanks, AN!)

Food Foibles

Yay! It's Food Wednesday! Menu errors are the bomb. Do not mock my hip lingo.

Let's talk about cheap Mexican food, shall we? My personal favorite is Chipotle, mostly because I get exactly what I want, and the chips are flavored just the way I like them. I will also accept Baja Fresh, because they serve shrimp, and I do enjoy a good shrimp burrito. All the other options are pretty much in a pile after that, at least for me. I'm not a fan of the salsas at Poquito Mas, and I feel like the last time I was there, there was some sort of a la carte business that was kind of a hassle.

ANYWAY, this submission comes to us from the Baja Fresh menu. To see it, you'll want click on salads, and then Mango Chipotle Chicken Salad. As an aside to the restaurant industry, every human alive still hates the way your websites display menus. Just sayin'.

I received this submission a few weeks ago, and much to my surprise, the error still hasn't been corrected. Do you see it? Right there in the very first word of the description:

Just for the record, I LOATHE AVOCADO. 

CRISPY. Generally spelled with a P. Otherwise, it's a character on Three's Company. Minus an S. Crisy Flour is totally the best name ever for a chef in one of those competition shows. Having a vaguely food-sounding name always helps on those things, right? "I have to win! My name is food-related!"

One day, we'll have to have a talk about "fire-grilled." How else is something grilled? I don't believe that cooking things on your car engine is actually possible. Maybe over a really hot sidewalk? Sidewalk-grilled? Ooh! A panini, fresh off the griddle! Panini-grilled! Molten-lava-cake-grilled! Steering-wheel-on-a-hot-day-grilled!

Seriously, though. Fire-grilled is redundant, right? Like hot water heater? Discuss.

(Thanks, CP!)

WOOF!

Y'all, I love dogs. I am a total dog person. I prefer smaller dogs to bigger, but I kinda love 'em all. They're adorable! Dogs are always so happy to see you, and they always want to go where you want to go, especially if it's in the car or on the couch. I don't have a dog right now, but one day! One day I will have a yard, and a dog to go in the yard. Because yards are useless without adorable dogs running around in them!

My friend MLW sent me this story about a family being reunited with their beloved Basset Hounds years after they went missing. That's so sad! And wonderful! I would be devastated if my pups disappeared. But of course, the content of the article is not the only sad part.

I feel like all these words don't actually add up to full paragraphs.

Dear article author: it's spelled BASSET. ONE T. JUST LIKE IN THE HEADLINE. Actually, it kind of infuriates me that the headline is spelled correctly, but no one went back through the article and checked it. Here, for reference, is the article on Basset Hounds from the American Kennel Club. It's very interesting. I love seeing what judges are looking for when they evaluate dogs in competition. Aw! The tail is supposed to be carried gaily, in hound fashion! You can just picture a hound trotting happily along, its tail curved up in the air! So cute!

Go give your dogs a hug for me, my friends. I love 'em all. Even when they're spelled incorrectly.

(Thanks, MLW!)

His WHAT?

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that I'm not terribly politically astute. It's just not in my wheelhouse, so to speak. And honestly, I don't know anything from boardwalks. They don't really have them in Florida. They seem to be more prevalent in places where you go "down the shore," which is only up north, I think. Maybe this is totally normal behavior for an evening on a New Jersey boardwalk. Who knows? Basically, this article is filled with things I know nothing about. Well, except for the one thing.

This was my 4th try to make this readable. I think it worked out ok, right? 

This isn't the only problem in this article. It's also missing at least one comma, from what I can see. And it's clunky. And bless their hearts, they haven't made any corrections since this was sent to me a couple weeks ago. I'm pretty sure articles about the governor's "tempter" would be wholly different in content, if I had to guess what a "tempter" was. Which I would prefer not to, as would be the case with almost EVERY politician. There's far too much of that going on for my taste. I suspect the governor's TEMPER is enough of a problem. No need to add anything else to the mix.

(Thanks, CP!)

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?

Ha! I'm just going to throw this one up, and then we'll talk. Just looking at it again made me laugh!

It's a hair blurry. These things don't download well. Sorry!

Gentile! HAHAHAHA!!! Do the gentiles not like football? That's just nonsense. Nearly everyone enjoys football. But the real question is, did they mean gentle or genteel? It's a tough call. But I think we can all agree that the author most certainly did NOT mean gentile.

Also, this is full-on clunktastic. But we don't have to get into that. Not with that gentile just sitting there, staring back at us like Mona Lisa's eyes, watching us everywhere we go. *SHUDDER* Yeesh. Go away, creepy wrong word.

But I am, in fact, ready for college football season, so there's that.

Historical aside: was there a specific age at which you had to lengthen your skirts and stop wearing your hair down? Or was it when you got married? Or something else? I'm just curious. Anyone know? These are the things I wonder when I see these signs sometimes. It's possible I'm putting too much thought into them.

(Thanks to BD for sending this my way!)

Newspaper FAIL

Good morning, my friends. Welcome back to the office. Do you have a beverage in hand? Perhaps a hunk of one of the donuts someone brought in this morning? Maybe the whole donut? You do what you must to get through this day. No judgment here.

Meanwhile, back on the spelling blog, we're taking a look at a grammar issue, courtesy of Mom. Yay, Mom! Here's proof she reads the paper carefully every day:

Sorry. It's a little blurry. Totally my fault, and not Mom's. 

This is the caption on a photo of an article NEXT TO a job hunt article she cut out for me. It is sort of spectacularly clunky, isn't it? And that's not even considering that tragic "their selves" business. That's not even a word, newspaper. Also, it's garnered maybe my most favorite google response so far:

On yahoo answers, the question:

Whats the difference between their selves and themselves?
like why would you use one in a sentence instead of the other

And the top answer? It's awesome:

The use of their selves is frowned upon by grammarians or those who want to speak or write English correctly.

Translation: If you're cool with looking dumb, you go on and use their selves. LOVE THAT. ANYHOO, I think I would have said "Tomas, Ana, and Marta Pritchard make themselves at home at...". I think that works better, and I don't know why the ages of the kids are necessary. Is that an AP thing I don't know about? Who knows?

Lesson learned: Their selves? Not a word. DO NOT USE.

(Thanks, Mom!)

Presented without comment.

Photo by CT

(Thanks, CT, for scouring NYC!)

TGIF, Y'all.

I am so very delighted it's Friday! Isn't it great? I had a good week, and am looking forward to a good weekend. Seriously, I'm going to read some books. I have one from the library, so I HAVE to read it before giving it back. And, of course, The Dark Knight Rises. I saw it last night. Let me know what you think!

As a reminder, you can find the blog on Facebook and Twitter, so please stop by, share a funny spelling/grammar story, tell me what you thought of the new Batman, whatever!

Also, I'll be changing the blog's email address on Monday, but will still be able to receive email at the yahoo address. I'm just going to start phasing it out, so I wanted to warn y'all.

Have a good one, y'all. Today's Presented without comment is awesome, and is coming up shortly!

My hometown, y'all.

Y'all, it's Mom day here at the blog, once again. Mom has seen this sign several times near her home, and it drives her absolutely insane. She was finally to stop and grab a pic so it could be shared with all of you today. Yay! Now we can all be driven insane!

Photo by Mom.

Mom wants to go inside this shop and ask them if they know specifically which tourist it is they will welcome, or if they're just hoping they will know him/her when they see him/her.

Mom may be a little more confrontational about this grammar thing than I am.

(Thanks, Mom, again!)

Max and Jinx...

When I was junior high, I went to SpaceCamp. Ok, technically, at that age, it was SpaceAcademy. But that's just SpaceCamp for older kids. It was really, really awesome. I grew up on the east coast of Florida, but they hadn't yet opened the local SpaceCamp, so I had to go to the one up in Alabama. I sincerely had an amazing time. We did not get launched into space accidentally, and I didn't meet Joaquin (The Artist Previously Known as Leaf) Phoenix, but regardless, it was still way cool. I kept in touch with some of the people I met there for a very long time. One of the guys was named Duff. He was named for his family's castle. I mean, come ON. How can you not keep in touch with a dude who was named for his family's castle?

Space and kids just seem like two things that go together to me. It's such a great way to feel connected to the things that science and research can accomplish. I like to tell people that for us regular folk, there are few more patriotic or awe-inspiring moments than watching a rocket launch. It is just TREMENDOUS what has been achieved. And that is why this is just a tragedy. Here's a screen cap of a page on the NASA website my mom recently stumbled upon:

Seriously, though. How fun would this be?

And here's a close up, since the problem is hard to see:

It's the caption for the photo on the right, above.

Yeah, it's Brevard County. Not Country. It's actually a little terrifying to me to think of it as its own country. Remember when 50 Shades of Grey got banned from a Florida county's library system? That's the same county. I'm not sure they should have even that much power, much less the governance of a country.

If I had my own country, I wouldn't bother with banning books. I would start by banning the phrase "baby bump" and those super platform stiletto heels that real people can't actually walk in, and work my way out from there. I might also ban olives. And cheap, runny mascara. Oh! And any purse-sized hand lotion that doesn't have a flip top. That is an abomination.

Clearly, I'm not really cut out for this level of power, either. I might wield it TOO WELL.

(Thanks, Mom!)

Whoo! Happy Hour!

C'mon. Who doesn't like Happy Hour? Even if you're not a drinker, if you're at Happy Hour, chances are you're done with work for the day. You're kicking back, enjoying a cold whatever, relaxing with friends, making eyes at someone adorable across the way, and generally just having a delightful time. Right? Happy Hour just wants you to be happy. It's right there in the name!

However, as my friend AJ said when she sent this pic to me, is it ok to order something when it's spelled incorrectly? Hmm...

Photo by AJ

You better believe I looked up MOST of the words in this poster, to make sure I didn't miss anything. I suspect the author meant to put a colon after cocktails, instead of a comma, and of course, you will likely not be drinking a margarita made of a fruit that weighs a ton. Pomegranate. That's it. One vowel off, and yet it makes all the difference. I wasn't sure myself, and had to look it up. There's no shame in looking something up, sign makers of the world! Just go ahead and do it! Your patrons, boss, nit-picky bloggers, and the community at large will thank you.

Until then, we will continue to mock. It's what we do.

(Thanks, AJ!)

IT'S DELICIOUS.

I'm generally not a fan of all caps, unless it works for the point I'm trying to make. I do enjoy using caps when I want to emphasize a word, as I'm sure y'all have noticed. However, it really does look as though you're shouting, and so I find that it's not a great way to sell something to someone. It comes across as pushy.

This submission is a great example, I think. Because of the caps, this sign sort of looks like just a string of words on some paper. You almost have to read it aloud to figure out what they're saying.

Photo by KG

Let's discuss the particulars, shall we? I'm fine with till. It's not my preference, but I understand that it's acceptable. I probably would have rolled with 'til. But we've stumbled across AID before, in place of the actual word limeade. This isn't ok. Not with me, anyway. It makes me think they're putting something in my strawberry lime drink that isn't real, and trying to fool me with it. Just google that bad boy, sign makers. It comes right up as LIMEADE when you do.

But of course, the best part is earthier. This just reeks of an autocorrect, doesn't it? True story: my mom sent me a photo today of a rainbow forming over the grocery store. In the second photo, you could see a second rainbow faintly, forming over the first (WHAT DOES IT MEAN?). Except her phone kept correcting faintly to Fauntleroy. Which is awesome, since faintly is ACTUALLY A WORD. I just love it when the phone corrects a real word to another word that is rarely used in conversation. ANYHOO. Earthier. It is definitely a word, which means spell check won't save you. I'm not sure which drink would win in an earthier-off. Does Alton Brown have a checklist for determining the most earthy drink? Does an earthy drink have to have actual earth in it? Let's hope not. Ew.

Regardless of the other issues in this sign, I think we can all agree that, at these prices, it wasn't necessary to state the price PLUS TAX. Just include the tax, and give us the total. I promise we will not be horrified.

I mean, any more than we already are.

(Thanks, KG!)

Shocked and appalled.

I received this submission from no fewer than three people in one day last week. The outrage! I have to say, I agree.

Photo credit below

I mean, COME ON. I guarantee you, that is the anchor's "Oh, HELL, NO" face. She's sitting there, trying to figure out if she can just slink down while everyone's staring at the other half of the screen, and just duck under the desk until this horrific moment is over. She'll continue talking, so there will be some sound, but it'll just be the lyrics from her favorite sit-com, Major Dad. She memorized several episodes, and recites them to herself in order to go to her happy place. Major Dad always knew how to handle a tough situation, and he is going to come to her rescue now.

Here's the HuffPo story on this, and the link in the article to where I got the photo. Thanks to RP, IU, and JG for all alerting me to this TRAGEDY. Let's just pretend it never happened, and go about the rest of our day, ok? *SHUDDER*

No, Anything does NOT go.

Are you watching this new show Bunheads? Do you like it? I'm undecided. Well, that's not true. I think I hate it, but I'm not sure. I loved Gilmore Girls. Well, until I stopped watching it. I don't even remember why I did that. Maybe it conflicted with something, and the TiVo chose for me. It does that sometimes. Anyway, I feel that, like Sorkin, ASP's patter is "a little goes a long way." And in Bunheads, there's a lot, and it feels endless. I kind of am driven insane by it. And the girls run around outside in their ballet shoes! Ridiculous. I took ballet for 15 years. You do NOT go outside in your shoes. It ruins them, and they are VERY expensive, and your mom will kill you if you ruin them. Also, while I was taking those ballet classes for 15 years, not once did a single person ever call us bunheads, but I've already discussed this with some people on twitter, and we've decided it might be the fact that I was never in professional-level classes.

ANYWAY, all this to say that while I'm generally pro ABC Family (seriously, watch Switched at Birth--you can thank me after), I'm not QUITE a fan of Bunheads. And I'm super not a fan of this:

Oh, man, the car shenanigans. I wish I could get that hour back. It felt like 3. 

I'm glad I grabbed this right away, because the page is gone now, so I can't link you to it. Sorry! But this is how the description appeared on ABC Family's website after the episode aired. The whole thing with Hubbell is tragic. Hasn't he earned an apostrophe? I think so. Since Hubbell himself was merely a vehicle to bring Michelle and his mother together, I think we can liken him to his car, which up and died in this episode. Having served its purpose, it could go on no longer. And it brought us nothing but endless words about everything and nothing. Just like HUBBELL.

Clearly, I'm going to have to punch both Hubbell AND his car at some point. Poor Cameron Frye. I just want that guy to get the girl one day. Television and film producers, it's time to "Let my Cameron Go!"

Interesting note. If you go to the Bunheads imdb page, Alan Ruck isn't even listed. Wow. That seems harsh.

(Thanks to DD for sending this to me!)

Housekeeping...

Hello, all! Just a couple of quick notes to update you...

Yesterday was the 2 month anniversary of this blog! Yay! Thanks so much to all of you who've hung in there so far! I appreciate it so much. It's been super fun for me, and I hope you're enjoying it, too.

I started a Facebook page for the blog, which you can see a link to in the sidebar over there at the right. Feel free to like it, if you're so inclined! I'd love for you to do so. On the page, you can chat with fellow proper-spelling enthusiasts, comment on the posts, and even see the posts as they go live to the blog. I've just started it, so please let me know if you see anything wonky. Thanks!

Also, I'll be changing the email address for the blog in the next couple of weeks to spellfailblog@gmail.com. For now, both addresses are active, so both will get to me, but eventually, the yahoo address will disappear. Consider yourselves warned!

Thanks, all! And now, back to embarrassing bad spellers.

Workin' up a sweat

My friend MR was out and about having an awesome time when this troubling error brought her evening to a screeching halt. Y'all have perused a karaoke catalog or two, right? You know how they are. They're generally kind of a mess, to put it gently. MR just wanted to find some fantastic song that would bring the crowd together in a moment of drunken, euphoric abandon. As you do. And this is what she found.

Photo by MR

Do you see it? Let me help you out.

With helpful arrow to guide the way!

Back when this song came out (in 1988, kids), it was called Push It. This, I would say, is not a typo, but a lousy copy job, since the P and the R are in two different places on the keyboard. You wouldn't want to confuse it with Paula Abdul's masterpiece Rush, Rush. That would be a TRAGEDY.

Actually, it really would. Can you imagine climbing up on the stage, ready to rap your little heart out, and suddenly a ballad starts playing? Yikes. Karaoke misery right there, y'all.

Though, I don't know. If I were picking songs from this page, I might roll with Smooth Operator. Everyone loves a little Sade. Right?

(Thanks, MR!)

Not so Top Gun

Good morning! It's Monday. I don't want to bog you down with too many troubling words and such. Just hang in there. It'll be lunch time soon enough. Meanwhile, let's get things started.

I don't have a great deal of information about this, except to assume it's a concert at a naval base. Here's a link to the flickr page featuring the band performing at the event. And here, in case you didn't see it, is the issue:

I didn't know anyone was still using @ in the old way. Except me. Because I'm old. 

I don't know about you, but I'm certain I cannot fit a base in my navel. Nor would I want to. That sounds itchy, and as though it would make it even more difficult to find pants that fit. Also, when you google Great Lakes Naval Base, you get a Naval Station, and I don't really know if those two things are different. Like perhaps how Grand Central is technically a terminal and not a station. Is station more accurate? Or just a different word? I'll need someone more knowledgable to tell me. Interestingly, if you join the Navy, that's where you go for boot camp, as it's the only US Navy boot camp. According to wiki, anyway. And when you go, you apparently are given concerts by the local alternative rock station, which is fun. Even if they don't know how to spell naval.

(Thanks, CP, for sending this in!)

Presented without comment.

Photo by CT

(Thanks, CT!)

We have arrived.

Another weekend rises before us, just waiting to be adored. And adore it we will! May I recommend that you have a good brunch, and maybe give the Cinnamon Roll French Toast a try, if you're just not sure what to do with yourself? You won't be sorry.

I've still got books stacked ahead of me, and movie and dinner plans. I hope I get to it all!

As usual, here's your weekly reminder to send me a pic of any spelling or grammar issues you see in the wild. And if you haven't seen your submission yet, just remember that I do love a theme, so I try to match up everything that comes in. It's coming! You'll just have to keep coming back to the blog to see!

Also, feel free to follow me on Twitter, if you're so inclined. Check back in a bit for today's Presented without comment, and have a good weekend!

Garnet and Gold

It's Apostrophail Day here at the old SpellFail Blog. Sometimes, a post requires little introduction. Some require NO introduction at all, and those become classic PWC posts. This submission certainly qualifies, except for the part where I must tell you that the school referenced in this post is my alma mater. Believe me, I am more proud than you can possibly imagine. Let's just say I had my apostrophe usage down pat before matriculating.

Here is the link to the story, sent to me by internet buddy KP. And here's the image, in all its glory.

Email had just been invented when I attended. As a result, our addresses consisted of approximately 483 more characters. 

Because I had no idea who the guy in the photo was, I didn't quite understand what this course might be about. But then I googled, and all was revealed. I do wonder if this class takes on any of the fun things that have happened at FSU, as opposed to using other schools' troubles as course material. While I was there, 2 prominent football players tried to cheat off me during tests, though one at least asked politely beforehand, so there's that. And the other one, well, he was never in class. I felt bad for him. Gosh, he must have been so tired from all his footballing.

Back to the point. Dr. Pappas and I graduated from the same school the same year. One of us knows when to use apostrophes properly, and the other one has a PhD and a job. So, yeah. This has suddenly become awkward and uncomfortable. I'm going to go sit in a corner and hug my proper apostrophe usage tightly about me, so it can keep me warm at night.

It totally does, y'all. IT TOTALLY DOES.

(Thanks to KP for sending this my way!)

UNDER SIEGE, I SAY.

Publix has long been heralded as a haven for grammar fiends. Who knows if it was pressure from the public, or one crusading manager, but once they corrected their "10 items or less" signs to "10 items or fewer" it's been a happier place to grocery shop. Also, I find that when I visit my family back in Florida, Publix stores are generally easier to navigate, and not set up to look like a pale imitation of a farmer's market, as many wanna-be grocery stores are out here in Los Angeles.  In addition, it's much easier to find smaller sizes of products in Publixes, which is a boon for any person like me, who lives alone. No need to pick and choose between which items I'm certain I'll finish before they're stale/which ones I can tolerate stale, and those I'll just never get to in time. Ah, giant flats of strawberries. I hardly knew ye. You'd go very well with the giant angel food cake over in the bakery, but alas. I'm only one person.

However, Publix is not perfect. No one is, for sure. They're still stumped from time to time.

Photo by JG

My brother JG snapped this pic at a local Publix. Now, sure, we can debate whether or not inconvenience is created or caused, but of course, what we really want to know is ATTENTION CUSTOMER'S WHAT?  SIGH. We are a nation under siege. My internet buddy CP dubbed this sort of thing an apostrophail on twitter yesterday, which is genius.  An apostrophail, ladies and gentlemen! It has created all sorts of mental inconvenience for me.

I am also very glad that I don't live in a world where 7 AM is convenient for me. Oy. That sounds terrible.

(Thanks, JG. I hope my perfect niece didn't give you a hard time when you were taking this pic!)

PSA

It must be extremely challenging to write about food. The food is so distracting! That's the only explanation I have for how many spelling/grammar errors out in the world pertain to food. I'm leaning towards making Wednesdays Food days. Y'all would be cool with that, right? Wednesdays = food-related spelling and grammatical errors. Even if that error is the same as one I posted before, in a new place. My internet buddy DH sent me this FB ad, and I thought you guys should know about it. The ad says it'll be available July 30th. CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED.

Photo by DH

That's right, people. A silky smooth Oreo cream mouse will be out for blood on July 30th. Because he's silky smooth, you may be lulled into a false sense of security. He may try to convince you that he's delicious and alluring. But DON'T BE FOOLED! A mouse is not food. Mousse, yes. Mouse, no. Perhaps the mouse will tell you he knows where the mousse is. It is all a part of his master plan. To do what, you ask? Well, obviously, it's to take over the world. Isn't that what all mice want? 

I watch TV. I know these things. Stay safe on July 30th, people. Now you know what to look out for. 

(Thanks, DH!)

JOY.

Did you ever eat something and know, deep down in your soul, that you will never again find something quite as delicious as that wonderful thing you've just discovered? It doesn't have to be absurdly fancy, or expensive, or creatively prepared. It's just such a perfect combination of flavors, and you don't even really want to have it all that often, so you can savor each experience. I have discovered such a dish. And let me tell you, it is BAD for you. It's served by this small, random restaurant in Burbank, and it is the perfect brunch food. It's Cinnamon Roll French Toast. Basically, they take cinnamon rolls and then slice them and prepare the slices as French toast, cover it with syrup and cream cheese frosting and berries, and serve it to you. It is magically divine. Seriously. It is a huge dish, easily shared with a friend. When some friends and I were gathering to go see Magic Mike, the restaurant that serves this dish was chosen as the pre-movie brunch spot, and I was elated. I imagined enjoying my Cinnamon Roll French Toast for WEEKS. Maybe that's sad, but hey, I don't have a job. I have a lot of time to dedicate to this sort of thing.

So, the day arrives, and I get to the restaurant, and pretend to peruse the menu, as though I might possibly eat something else. And that's when I stumbled across this:

Sorry about cutting off the description of the CRFT. I was focused.

ERRANT APOSTROPHE ALERT. And seriously, let's not even get into what a "humming experience" is. Whatever this menu does on its own time is its own business. I tried to look around to see if there was a reason for this apostrophe, like maybe they named it for someone in the restaurant or something, but I couldn't find anything, so I don't think that's it. I think it's just wrong. Which is a shame. But please, don't let this apostrophe abuse deter you. If you get the chance to try this place, do so. And if you need me to come along with you, y'know, I'm available.

I'm SO OLD sometimes.

Here's proof that I'm old: I can't sing you a single Justin Bieber song. I can't even name you one. No, wait. There's the one about the boyfriend. If I were your boyfriend? Is that it? Anyway, the Biebs has swept the nation, and I don't really know any tweens, so I'm sadly excluded from the fun. I was frightened of that hair helmet thing he was sporting, and now that he's cut his hair, I find that he looks a bit like Ellen Degeneres, especially when he wears his glasses. But that's really all I've got on him. Also, I desperately want to spell his name Beiber. I always do, as a matter of fact. I just happened to google before writing this, and that's the only reason I've been saved from embarrassment. THIS TIME.

Regardless of all of this, you know what I can spell? Twitter.

This blog's twitter follower count stands at 133. I'll totally catch up to Biebs soon.

The original story can be found here, which was corrected very quickly the same day, so I had to do a search to find a version of the headline elsewhere. You ask, and the internet shall provide.

Of course, we can't blame J. Biebs for this tragedy. Or even for the car-chasing/paparazzi incident, because I kind of really think the paps should back off when it's obvious someone's freaking out, but yeah, I don't really know what was happening anyway. And I consider myself somewhat of a car person, and I'd never heard of that car he was driving. And good grief, it was chrome plated? That's just stupid. Way to blind every other driver on the road, dude. The sun enjoys shiny things!

But I digress. My point? Twitter. 3 Ts total. Learn it. Live it. And good job on fixing the error quickly, LA Times.

(Thanks to MF for sending this along!)

*I* can handle the truth.

Are y'all watching that new show Newsroom? I'm not. Listen, I love me some Sorkin. And I generally don't mind being manipulated by the TV. I watched ALL of West Wing. Even those seasons at the end we pretend didn't happen. In The Shadow of Two Gunmen, and the episode immediately following are like the 3 greatest hours of TV EVER, in my opinion. I watched ALL of Studio 60, even though it really was more than a little ridiculous. I loved A Few Good Men. I LOVED Social Network. I even really liked Moneyball, and I don't get the baseball much at all.

But this Newsroom looks like train wreck television to me (y'know, awful but you can't look away), and I just don't have time for that. I also am not really interested in being told what the media is doing wrong, as a member of the media. Constructive criticism is fine, but if it's an entire TV show about how Joshua Lyman doesn't get the interwebs? I don't really need that in my life. Joshua Lyman is a grown man who should really figure things out for himself, you big baby.

So, I'm not watching. Maybe you are. Maybe you LOVE it. Good for you. That's why we have lots of different TV shows in the world! The premise of Newsroom appears to be that network news, the 24-hour news networks, and the modern world have destroyed news reporting as we knew it. That they're too interested in ratings, and not nearly as interested in reporting the actual story. Is that right? If so, let me just say that you do not get to go around complaining about The Way Things Are, and then be this guy:

Photo by AW

The man's name is spelled Richard ClarkE. With an E at the end. (disclaimer: as I said, I don't watch. I have no idea what was happening in this scene. Maybe they're just making a point about how the news often misspells lower thirds. We all know that's true. But I think probably not.) This spelling error was mentioned on the twitter Sunday night by AB, who is one of the founders of this blog, which you really should be reading. My friend AW then took it upon herself to take a pic and send it along. So, thanks to you both.

I just think this is sad. You want network news to be better? You first, dude.

And, man, could Jeff Daniels look more smug in that shot next to Mr. Clarke? I don't think that's actually possible. Is he the hero of this show? He is not encouraging me to give this thing a try at ALL.

Blech.

(Thanks to both AB and AW!)

Can we talk about THIS?

Confession: I have never seen Fight Club. So I had no idea what was going on with this website when my friend AD sent me this link. From what I can tell, it's celeb gossip for bros. Meaning, when lady celebs have boobs, and there is even a CHANCE that you might be able to see even just the SHAPE of them, they appear on this website. Which, whatever. They'll let anyone on the internet these days. I mean, I'm here, after all. We all have to carve out our niche, so to speak.

Fortunately, this dude won't be infringing on mine anytime soon.

Without even clicking, you know what he means, right? WINK. NUDGE. 

As you can see, the story was posted on 6/27, and it still hasn't been fixed. STRENGTHS. Bless you, sir. For providing to the masses what they so desperately want, and for giving me something to do in the meantime. You are a giver, to one and all.

(Thanks, AD, for sending me the link!)

Only 4 more days til Friday!

Welcome back to the office. I know. You'd rather be curled up in bed, asleep, after the craziness of last week. But hey, you're here. You're earning money so you can buy yourself something awesome, even if it's just a yummy lunch. Might as well make the most of it, right? Here are a few links to help you ease into work. I don't want you to pull something diving back in at full speed. 

This is from a while ago, but it's a goody. Think of it as a final test, high school students! "Why are they sending me a second diploma in the mail, mom?" "I don't know! Back up, maybe? In case you spill something on the first one?" Diplomas make excellent placemats, for sure. 

(via CBS News)

This might be my favorite thing ever. Because of course, I'm a 15 year old boy who loves it when this word sneaks into places it shouldn't be. Like NPR. Though you know behind the scenes those guys are all quite saucy. 

(via jimromenesko.com)

Look, I don't even know what I'd do if someone misspelled my tattoo. But there would most certainly be freaking out, expletives, and the breaking of important objects. And maybe some face punching. Tattoo removal is supposed to be CRAZY painful. Here's a story with a photo of the offending tattoo. Why do I suspect this was all handled very civilly? Oh, Canada. 

(h/t RP, via thestar.com and nationalpost.com)

This seems like a LONG way to go for a college football joke, especially with the flub in the middle. Also, will someone tell me once and for all what a nittany lion is? 

(h/t MLW, via funny)

And finally, my personal motto, and very important words to live by. 

(h/t KN, via quickmeme.com)

Presented without comment.

Photo by EA

(Thanks, EA! Please don't get in an accident on my behalf!)

Ahhhhh...

After a wonky week with a holiday in the middle, we've finally made it to Friday. Yay! I hope you do exactly what you want to do this weekend. Me, I've got 4 books in front of me that I want to get through sometime in the very near future. One day, I have to find a way to read a bunch of books simultaneously. Also, I may have gone a little crazy on the bad-for-me foods this week, so I'm hoping to get back in the better-eating saddle by next Monday. It's so hard when there's a holiday, and then leftover food! Salad is far less appealing when it's sitting next to cupcakes.

As always, y'all have a good weekend. Be sure to send me any spelling or grammatical errors you see while out and about, if you can, and stay cool! No collapsing from the heat allowed.

Enjoy today's final post, and see y'all on Monday!

Can you hear me now?

This one's a little confusing, y'all. And I know the pictures are HUGE but I wanted to try and make them as clear as possible. Just bear with me. Let me throw up the pics, and then we'll discuss. Loyal reader and internet buddy CP sent this in, and fortunately, he sent both the link and a screengrab, because, well, they've gone back in and butchered up the copy a bit. So, here's the screengrab he sent:

Screengrab by CP

The print is pretty tough to read, so I cropped it for you.

Sorry, still a little blurry. 

So, yeah. It's a little clunky. I feel there's a translation issue here, which just seems odd. Samsung is an international corporation. They don't have some English speaking copy editors available to give this a pass and see if it makes sense? (And is also spelled and pluralized correctly!) I have, after all, always wanted to be more convinient. Er, convenient. But, is it worse or better than how the copy reads now?

I just...what? Apparently this phone is now being compared to Tommy. Because, of course, Tommy didn't go to school, so he probably didn't learn proper grammar and language skills. "Which one of these are your favorite?" Is this copy written by a robot? A robot who never learned to read?

On the other hand, trying to choose between that line and the previous version's "What is your most wanted?" is like an anti-Sophie's choice. Death is not an option! Which one do you hate less?

It's a tough call. My recommendation? Head over to the Apple website and just get an iPhone. Easy peasy.

(Thanks, CP!)

No bueno.

Good morning! HI! How are you? You're not hungover, are you? I hope not. I feel like the only thing worse than having to go back to work after a holiday in the middle of the week would be having to go back hungover. And even if you didn't drink, you may be suffering from what I call the dreaded junk food hangover. You know, where you've consumed all this junk food after eating a generally well-balanced diet the rest of the time, and your system doesn't really know what to do with all of it, so you just kind of feel bloated and gross for a while, until a solution is reached. I find that, like with some booze hangovers, a little hair of the dog helps. I suggest carbs. Oh! Or maybe a burrito. Burritos always hit the spot, don't they?

Photo by HC

Even when spelled incorrectly. I think the author of this card is nuts. A jalapeno buritto, or burrito, even, sounds fantastic, doesn't it? That's totally what you're having for lunch now, isn't it? You're welcome.

I am now dying to know what was going on with the rest of this card. I can't believe HC didn't just buy this card and bring it to me. WHATEVER. Just so y'all know, a burrito on MY birthday sounds delightful.

(Thanks to HC for this submission!)

Last minute food ideas!

One more post for the day, and then we're all off to our respective food fests! Still not sure what to make? Here's a great recipe my friend XB sent to me. It really does look delicious! Grilled chicken and veggies? YUM! And guess what? The best part is you can:

Anyone else watching The Chew? I kinda like it. 

I admit I stared at that no for a long time, trying to figure out if it was wrong for some reason. Nope. That's not it. It's the word right before it. A classic "when spell check can't save you" for your Independence Day enjoyment.

Happy 4th, y'all! Have a great one, and I'll meet you back here tomorrow.

(Thanks to XB!)

Before you get your grill on...

Happy 4th of July, Americans! By way of celebration, we're going to take a look at a Cuban restaurant menu. Totes makes sense, right? This one's a toughie, y'all, and I'm going to need you to weigh in. Menus, as y'all know, are a font of fodder for this blog, but it gets confusing when the menu has a mix of foreign language and English translations. For some reason, I have a harder time getting google to cough up an effective translation for some words, so I worry that the word is actually correct, and I just don't know something. SHOCKING.

So, let's take a look at this pic snapped for me by my high school best friend's mom, DC. This blog is FAR REACHING, y'all. Ok, not that much, since she's a FB friend of mine.

Photo by DC

Ok, for a second, just ignore the egregious parentheses abuse. And the fact that google tells me fruta bomba is usually spelled as two words. And all the extra random spaces. What we're focused on is that Puding de Pan. DC assures me it is crazy delicious, first of all, which is good news. However, google coughs up both pudin de pan and budin de pan. At no point does google provide any responses with a g, but it can't come to an agreement beyond that. I posed this question on twitter, and most seemed to agree that pudin is correct, but I'm curious to know if perhaps this is a regionalism.

So, Spanish-speaking spellfailers, what say you? I think we can all agree that puding is wrong. But what's correct? AMERICANS TRYING TO ORDER DELICIOUS DESSERTS NEED TO KNOW.

Now, go have some grilled foods! Yay!

(Thanks to DC for the great pic!)

I NEED YOUR HELP.

Sometimes, your vacation time and destination isn't up to you. You don't get to decide you're going on a fancy cruise. Instead, you have to go to some place you're not all that interested in to watch your dear friend get married. Again. You love your friend, and you want to be there to support him or her, but, y'know. You get 5 vacation days a year, and this year, you're spending them in the middle of nowhere, in a dress that costs more than your last 3 work dresses combined, with shoes dyed to match, and hairpins stabbing your head until you want to cry. You repeat to yourself over and over that you love your friend, and that you are a good friend for being there for her.

That's essentially the focus of this article my friend DB posted on twitter awhile back. It is, suffice it to say, not the best-written of articles, though I agree with its point. However, what are you going to do? You're not going to skip important functions, are you? Maybe you are. Anyway, the article provided me with this curiosity.

It's clunky, right? 

I, of course, want to spell that word GAUNTLET. And as an aside, I'm not sure why attending events before the wedding might be considered running a gauntlet. It seems a bit dramatic, no? So the writer might have avoided this confusion had she simply chosen another metaphor. HOWEVER, in googling, wiki tells me that "gantlet" is the original form of this word, and that at least one grammarian thinks that gauntlet and gantlet shouldn't be conflated, so this may be correct. But I don't know. I'm not feeling it.

And so, my darling readers, I want to know what you think. Would you have gone with gantlet? Gauntlet? Another metaphor altogether? Is there any kind of an argument to be made for common usage, since gantlet might be more confusing?

Is there any way to come sort of agreement? Or will the gauntlet v. gantlet debate tear our society apart at the seams?????

Probs not. But let me know what you think.

(Thanks to DB, who probably has no idea I stole this link from her.)

Travel tips...

So, it's officially summer now. How's that going for you? Do you have big summer vacation plans? When I was a kid, we used to take vacations up and down the east coast. We'd go hiking along various paths on the Appalachian trail. We visited Hershey, PA, Williamsburg, and Mount Vernon, just to name a few sites. However, my dad wasn't always a big planner. He liked to wing vacations. Go where the adventure takes you, so to speak. He would sort of arrange to get us to a place, and then not really do much beyond that. Also, his idea of luxury accommodations was the Motel 6. And if he couldn't get a room in one, well, then we slept in the car. Which we did more than once. There was even a drug bust in one of the parking lots we'd parked in. And finally, Mom put her foot down. Dad didn't want to make reservations, because he didn't want to be so pinned down, and Mom refused to sleep in the car anymore, and well, that was the end of summer vacations.

It's beautiful how they can really bring families together, isn't it?

However, maybe your family isn't such a mess. Maybe you've got something all sorted out. Oh, maybe you're going on a cruise! Because that's easy. All the food and accommodations are right there! No thinking required. But you're a responsible traveler, so you take to the internet to look up safety and security information before boarding. And that's when you stumble across this:

Yes, please, tell me what that is. 

Can you see it? It took me a while. Here's a closer look:

No, seriously. What is it? 

My favorite part is that Security is spelled incorrectly TWICE, as though they copied and pasted the question in the FAQ, and then could only get it right in the answer. It's like a trick question! Except the trick's on them. Oops.

I feel confident the U.S. Border Security Act is not thrilled about being defamed in this manner. It just wants you to travel safely, after all. Safe travels for all you summer vacationers out there!

May you never have to sleep in the car.

(Thanks to MLW for this submission!)