A big ole round-up of stuff! Yay, STUFF!

Hey all! Um, what's up? How've you been? Happy New Year, and all that!

I would like to welcome you back to this space that I hope you still remember fondly. Submissions have been VEEERRY slowly trickling in, so I think there are enough to post an update that'll be worthwhile. Let's dive in, shall we?

Football is kind of a big deal this time of year. My alma mater won the national championship, and then there's still the big Commercial Bowl coming up, where many of us will spend a great deal of time flipping back and forth between puppies and zany ads Don Draper couldn't even imagine. Even if you're only a casual observer, you might still check the internet for the scores from time to time, to be able to play along with the nonsensical chatter at work. And in doing so, you might stumble across something like this:

Screengrab by DD

Perhaps the Seahawks sent the 49ers on a journey of some sort? Nah. They mean ROUT. To defeat overwhelmingly. The best part? It's STILL THERE. They've never fixed it. The one commenter suggested a correction, but duh. Who reads the comments? Not the people who work at the website, that's for sure!


Even the best of spellers and grammarians get tripped up now and again. It can't be helped! Nobody's perfect, right? One of my grammar waterloos is lay vs. lie. Listen, you can explain it to me over and over and over. It's not gonna sink in. I'm never going to grasp it. Even as I repeat the rules right back to you, I'll still be confused and a little afraid, and just go back and rewrite my sentence until neither lay nor lie are necessary. In addition, I have two words I can never spell: maintenance and sheriff. I have to look both of those up Every. Single. Time. (Yes, including just now.) Here's how I want to spell them: maintainence and sherrif. At least I'm consistent in my errors, right? I have, however, never opted for this spelling:

Screengrab by DD

Again, if you click through, it's still there. Way to go, internet. This is just a typo that should have been caught pretty easily by spellcheck, especially since it's the headline, but nope! You and your red squiggly lines, software. We will not put up with your (sometimes helpful) nonsense any longer! And so, this newspaper stands its ground and defends its right to, y'know, look a little stupid and incompetent. We all have to leave our mark somehow.


And now for a twofer from EW, who apparently likes to jump on the publish button a little too quickly.

Screengrabs by MF

ALADDIN should be easy for an entertainment magazine to get right, especially since they were able to below my crop point as the caption for the lower photo. That's just embarrassing. And truth be told, they fixed lifestream pretty quickly to LIVE STREAM, so that's a relief, sort of. I feel like it should be one word, but perhaps AP still wants it two. I can't quite convince google to give me an answer. It was already adjusted by the time I clicked through the link MF sent. But I want you take a moment to read the sentence below the headline in the top photo, because that thing is a DOOZY. I think what they're trying to say is that Amanda Taylor comments on a tumblr that has suggested a new soul mate for Belle, and that she (the tumblr?) may be on to something. Am I reading that right? Talk about hitting publish too soon. It is acceptable, professional outlets, to REREAD your work before publishing. Or even having your cubby neighbor read your work really quick, just to make sure it makes sense to others. Because you may not even be aware your brain has taken the day off. Mine does it all the time, and I can't be the only one. Right? RIGHT?

Screengrab by DD

This is apparently a reference to the TV show "Chopped," which I've never seen, and not a basket full of random chopped salad ingredients, which is what first came to mind. Chocolate and/or bacon would never be a mysery for me, so I'd have to go with the other ingredients. As for MYSTERY cooking ingredients, I'd say duck fat, because unless you got something else that can be cooked IN the duck fat, you're kinda SOL. And yes, I googled "casseroval" just to make sure it wasn't wrong, and it's not. Just a weird portmanteau I'd never seen before. Ah, Rachael Ray. Her use of the language inspires us all. 

More reality show business:

Screengrab by MLW

I've never seen this show, either, but this description makes it sound exhausting! Also, there's something going on with the tenses here that makes this somewhat confusing, no? It wavers back and forth between present and past tense, I think. I had to stop reading and just look at the verbs for a sec, and I think that's what's throwing me. Anyway, focus on the last sentence in the first paragraph. Based on this description, I'd say something's high, for sure. STAKES, geniuses. Steaks are for dinner. STAKES are for competition. And vampires, duh. Easy to slip through the spellchecker, but also easy enough to spot, y'all. 

And finally, we end this on a sad note. Especially poignant for me, as I turn 40 this year. 

Screengrab by DD

I feel like this is just sort of epically embarrassing. I mean, this is supposed to be a powerful, meaningful article on the things you learn when you turn 40. And here we are, taken completely out of the moment by the wrong word. And also by being informed we're going to die someday. YEESH! Did Oprah see this article before it went live? Because I feel like she will not be down with this depressing nonsense. Sort of the opposite of living your best life, yeah? ACCEPT that we are all going to die someday? PASS. I am definitely on the downward slope toward death? Um, yeah. If you guys will excuse me, I have to go weep in a corner now. 

My thanks go out to DD, MLW, and MF for keeping the dream alive! Please keep sending submissions in. Once they pile up, I will get them out to you for your diversionary pleasure. You can tweet 'em (@SpellFailBlog) or email 'em (spellfailblog AT gmail DOT com), just keep 'em coming!