SKIPPY

Y'all, I'm just going to let my friend BD tell you what's going on here:

"I'm not saying that I DVR'd Virgin Diaries on TLC. But I may have. And this happened."

Well, ok. 

I asked her if there was only one parent, and she said that she wasn't absolutely sure, but that she didn't think so. So, apostrophail, my friends. And that's not the only issue. I'm not even sure of how to address the period that someone dropped in the middle of that sentence.

Here's the thing. When you're writing a script for a TV show of this style, this is how you write it. You put in errant punctuation to indicate how it should be read out loud by the narrator/host. So, when I see this, I know exactly what the writer was thinking. However, when you're outside, you use your outside voice. You have to adapt your writing for the regular folk out there who don't know we do this. Easy peasy:

Skippy is a 34-year-old Mormon virgin.

He lives in his parents' basement.

Full sentences, properly punctuated, message conveyed. This shouldn't have made it past the execs. But in case they're here, I'd like to make them aware that I'm available for work. HI!

(Thanks, BD!)