Pick a good one!

I have a confession to make: I have never carved a pumpkin. Is that weird? By the time I was old enough to wield the big knives, we rarely spent Halloween at home, so we didn't bother with pumpkins. My mom would usually just pick up the smaller ones at the grocery store, and use them for pies. I would say those were around cantaloupe-sized, or what this vendor refers to as "spookies."

Photo by JR

I suspect that a cantalope is like a jackalope, but instead of a bunny, it's a cantaloupe with antlers. A cantalope. The antlers (made of the U!) are its Halloween costume. OBVIOUSLY. That's why it's not there. SURE.

Have some delicious candy, and stay safe out there, y'all! Have fun!

(Thanks, JR!)

Be Afraid

Happy Halloween!

Here. Have a look at this, and then I want to tell you a little story.

Photo by MR

So, a lot of times, when I set out to write these posts, I do some googling. First, I make sure I actually know the spelling of the word. Then, I dig around to see if I can find a funny story to tell y'all that will connect back to the image. So, I googled "honeycrisp."

Just take a look at what I found. Honeycrisp.org. The wiki entry. Honeycrisp.com. Honeycrispapples.com. Honeycrispapples.org. Applesource.com

There's more where that came from! Y'all, there's some sort of internet honeycrisp apple obsession. I had no idea. For the record, you don't get these kinds of results with other apple types. Just honeycrisp.

So, I hope this grocery store understands that The Honeycrisp Authority will soon be on their asses to rectify this TRAGIC turn of events.

And now the word "honeycrisp" has lost all meaning for me. I have to go honeycrisp now. Honeycrisp!

(Thanks, MR!)

Does not compute

Math fail, take 2. What is it about these signs that makes them so difficult to put together? I mean, in a way, I get it. Math is hard, yo. I am terrible at it. You should watch me try to split a bill sometime. It can take me 5 solid minutes or more, even after I break out the calculator. And yes, I have an app for that.

So, yeah. Math is hard. But not THIS math.

Photo by JG

That, my friends, is a $.06 difference, and not a $.25 difference, as the sign indicates. I wonder if they were willing to honor the lower price?

Also, some of you oldies may remember when we had cent signs on the keyboard. The TYPEWRITER keyboard. Ah, those were the days. GET OFF MY LAWN.

(Thanks, JG and AD!)

A bargain

Today on the blog, we're going to do something slightly different. Now, don't be afraid. Don't you worry your pretty little heads about it! You'll enjoy it. I promise. If you're on the east coast, you could probably use a little break from WORRYING for a second or two, and I am here to provide it.

Today's theme isn't spelling fails. It's math fails. Are you one of those shoppers that looks closely at the signs in stores? You know, like actually calculates the per-use price of items? I always figure out exactly how much I'm saving when I'm told an item is 40% off. That's just how I roll. I also like to shop around, and get a good idea of how much an item is going for at various stores.

Fortunately, you won't have to work quite that hard with this sign. It tells you what you'd normally pay elsewhere, so you know EXACTLY how much you're saving here.

Photo by MR

ONE WHOLE PENNY. Obviously, this discount is too good to pass up. You'd be MAD to pay more elsewhere. MAD, I TELL YOU.

I hope you snapped up this tremendous deal, MR, and didn't spend all of your savings in one place! SO reckless.

Also: everyone out there on the east coast hanging in there? Canadians? You guys ok?

(Thanks, MR!)

...and wonder why, oh, why, you left me

I hope that all of you over on the east coast are hanging in there with Sandy barreling down on you. I know a thing or two about getting through a hurricane, and unfortunately, a lot of it is really just sitting and waiting and hoping the windows don't blow in. There's only so much sleeping a person can do when glass shards might become an issue. The story's been widely reported over here on the other coast, with the local news doing everything it can to keep us updated. Unfortunately, those efforts can lead to some issues.

Not the CASINOS!

When I first saw this, I thought to myself, "Huh, I didn't know there were islands off the coast of Jersey named Barrie. That's interesting! I hope those people are ok!" I thought this just as the newscaster was saying something about evacuating the barrier islands, and that's when I googled. Yep. BARRIER islands. Having grown up on one, I can assure you that you really don't want to be around when a hurricane is heading right towards you. As a result, the news media REALLY does not want to screw this warning up. Fortunately, this is here in LA, so hopefully, it wasn't very confusing for those who needed it. But, still. It's best to get this sort of thing correct.

On a lighter note, did anyone dress as Hurricane Sandy for Halloween? How did you pull it off? Dog Sandy or Grease Sandy? Or another Sandy? Do tell.

Avenge THIS

Hey there! It's Monday. I know. You're back at your desk instead of out in the world, having a good time. What did you do this weekend? Me, I saw a few friends I hadn't seen in a while. Ate some delicious food. Read a book, watched some TV. You know, the usual. I even saw a movie! What about you? Did you see a movie? There are a number of movies to choose from, even at the discount theater:

Photo by JR

Apparently, this theater is so discounted they can't even afford a marquee. They just post this sign. But if they were really that broke, you'd think they wouldn't throw extra letters around. Ink is expensive, as many of you know. No need to be going around adding Ls to words, all willy nilly.

Perhaps if they saved up enough ink, they could add THE back to some of the titles that should have it.

(Thanks, JR!)

Presented Without Comment

Photo by CT

(Thanks, CT!)