Pick a good one!

I have a confession to make: I have never carved a pumpkin. Is that weird? By the time I was old enough to wield the big knives, we rarely spent Halloween at home, so we didn't bother with pumpkins. My mom would usually just pick up the smaller ones at the grocery store, and use them for pies. I would say those were around cantaloupe-sized, or what this vendor refers to as "spookies."

Photo by JR

I suspect that a cantalope is like a jackalope, but instead of a bunny, it's a cantaloupe with antlers. A cantalope. The antlers (made of the U!) are its Halloween costume. OBVIOUSLY. That's why it's not there. SURE.

Have some delicious candy, and stay safe out there, y'all! Have fun!

(Thanks, JR!)

Be Afraid

Happy Halloween!

Here. Have a look at this, and then I want to tell you a little story.

Photo by MR

So, a lot of times, when I set out to write these posts, I do some googling. First, I make sure I actually know the spelling of the word. Then, I dig around to see if I can find a funny story to tell y'all that will connect back to the image. So, I googled "honeycrisp."

Just take a look at what I found. Honeycrisp.org. The wiki entry. Honeycrisp.com. Honeycrispapples.com. Honeycrispapples.org. Applesource.com

There's more where that came from! Y'all, there's some sort of internet honeycrisp apple obsession. I had no idea. For the record, you don't get these kinds of results with other apple types. Just honeycrisp.

So, I hope this grocery store understands that The Honeycrisp Authority will soon be on their asses to rectify this TRAGIC turn of events.

And now the word "honeycrisp" has lost all meaning for me. I have to go honeycrisp now. Honeycrisp!

(Thanks, MR!)

Does not compute

Math fail, take 2. What is it about these signs that makes them so difficult to put together? I mean, in a way, I get it. Math is hard, yo. I am terrible at it. You should watch me try to split a bill sometime. It can take me 5 solid minutes or more, even after I break out the calculator. And yes, I have an app for that.

So, yeah. Math is hard. But not THIS math.

Photo by JG

That, my friends, is a $.06 difference, and not a $.25 difference, as the sign indicates. I wonder if they were willing to honor the lower price?

Also, some of you oldies may remember when we had cent signs on the keyboard. The TYPEWRITER keyboard. Ah, those were the days. GET OFF MY LAWN.

(Thanks, JG and AD!)

A bargain

Today on the blog, we're going to do something slightly different. Now, don't be afraid. Don't you worry your pretty little heads about it! You'll enjoy it. I promise. If you're on the east coast, you could probably use a little break from WORRYING for a second or two, and I am here to provide it.

Today's theme isn't spelling fails. It's math fails. Are you one of those shoppers that looks closely at the signs in stores? You know, like actually calculates the per-use price of items? I always figure out exactly how much I'm saving when I'm told an item is 40% off. That's just how I roll. I also like to shop around, and get a good idea of how much an item is going for at various stores.

Fortunately, you won't have to work quite that hard with this sign. It tells you what you'd normally pay elsewhere, so you know EXACTLY how much you're saving here.

Photo by MR

ONE WHOLE PENNY. Obviously, this discount is too good to pass up. You'd be MAD to pay more elsewhere. MAD, I TELL YOU.

I hope you snapped up this tremendous deal, MR, and didn't spend all of your savings in one place! SO reckless.

Also: everyone out there on the east coast hanging in there? Canadians? You guys ok?

(Thanks, MR!)

...and wonder why, oh, why, you left me

I hope that all of you over on the east coast are hanging in there with Sandy barreling down on you. I know a thing or two about getting through a hurricane, and unfortunately, a lot of it is really just sitting and waiting and hoping the windows don't blow in. There's only so much sleeping a person can do when glass shards might become an issue. The story's been widely reported over here on the other coast, with the local news doing everything it can to keep us updated. Unfortunately, those efforts can lead to some issues.

Not the CASINOS!

When I first saw this, I thought to myself, "Huh, I didn't know there were islands off the coast of Jersey named Barrie. That's interesting! I hope those people are ok!" I thought this just as the newscaster was saying something about evacuating the barrier islands, and that's when I googled. Yep. BARRIER islands. Having grown up on one, I can assure you that you really don't want to be around when a hurricane is heading right towards you. As a result, the news media REALLY does not want to screw this warning up. Fortunately, this is here in LA, so hopefully, it wasn't very confusing for those who needed it. But, still. It's best to get this sort of thing correct.

On a lighter note, did anyone dress as Hurricane Sandy for Halloween? How did you pull it off? Dog Sandy or Grease Sandy? Or another Sandy? Do tell.

Avenge THIS

Hey there! It's Monday. I know. You're back at your desk instead of out in the world, having a good time. What did you do this weekend? Me, I saw a few friends I hadn't seen in a while. Ate some delicious food. Read a book, watched some TV. You know, the usual. I even saw a movie! What about you? Did you see a movie? There are a number of movies to choose from, even at the discount theater:

Photo by JR

Apparently, this theater is so discounted they can't even afford a marquee. They just post this sign. But if they were really that broke, you'd think they wouldn't throw extra letters around. Ink is expensive, as many of you know. No need to be going around adding Ls to words, all willy nilly.

Perhaps if they saved up enough ink, they could add THE back to some of the titles that should have it.

(Thanks, JR!)

Presented Without Comment

Photo by CT

(Thanks, CT!)

Yay, Friday.

Friday once again! I am delighted. My job is quickly using up all my brain cells, so decompressing over the weekend will be awesome. Also, my new TiVo is supposed to get all set up today, which is going to be magical. 4 TUNERS. It's excessive. AND PERFECT.

No new Lucky post for me this week, as it was a scheduled week off, but I'll have one up next week!

As I said on Facebook, I've informed the posting service that their system is on the fritz, so hopefully, they're working on it. Please let me know if all of a sudden the links work again!

I've gotten some fantastic submissions in over the past week or so! Thanks, everyone, for keeping an eye out! Keep it up!

As always, please keep in touch via email, Facebook, and twitter.

Keep an eye out for today's Presented Without Comment, and have a great weekend!

OUTRAGED!

Have you ever been to Hawaii? I haven't. I don't have a really strong desire to go, either. I know that it's a favorite vacation spot for a lot of people, but I grew up on the beaches of Florida, and frankly, I'm all set for life in terms of the beach. I love it, but I love big cities, art museums, and shopping even more. That's my kind of vacation. As a result, this particular situation will probably never happen to me. It is terrifying. Can you imagine being trapped in a place with no real explanation or quick way to get home? Yikes.

Furthermore, can you imagine AP News botching a headline in quite this manner? Me, either.

screengrab by me! 

Pick a preposition. Any preposition! But not two. Not here. It's like they couldn't decide which one worked better, so they just kept both. "Our readers are clever. Let's let them decide!"

And yes, there probably are worse things than being trapped in Hawaii, but dude. No one wants to be TRAPPED anywhere. There's no way to enjoy something if you're not really sure if you're ever leaving.

Even if it's a relaxing beach paradise.

(Thanks, DW!)

Big fat yeast what?

Listen, I'm not a huge sports fan. I don't think that comes as a surprise to anyone here, seeing as how I missed that whole "bye" thing a while back. However, this is a nice story, and illustrates a bit of thoughtfulness on the part of this young man's teammates.

It's a shame the reporter wasn't quite so thoughtful. Have a look at the fifth paragraph:

This paragraph is all one sentence. That seems excessive.

"...then switched rolls to move..." is wrong. Never switch rolls with someone! Always eat the one you were served. Also, put the butter on your plate and THEN spread it on the roll. That's how to be classy, y'all. Incidentally, the word this reporter was looking for here was ROLES. Rolls are yeasty. Or they will actually roll somewhere (amongst other definitions). A role refers to the parts people play.

The role of the roll-eater will be played tonight by me!

I wish. Someone bring me a roll!

(Thanks, MLW!)

The Dan Quayle Special, please!

My friend AB grabbed this at the cafe in her office building in Dallas, Texas. She said the owner of the cafe doesn't like her, so she had to take this all sneakily, and that's why it's blurry. AB, you are completely forgiven, because this is awesome.

Photo by AB

Down there at the bottom, y'all. Though they almost had me at bacon, I admit. Just for the record, it's POTATO. No E. It does sound kind of tasty, doesn't it?

I'm also intrigued by the change in text size. Maybe she realized she was running out of space? I used to get emails from a woman I was trying to buy some materials from for a project I was working on. The beginning of her emails were always completely normal. Hi, how are you, here's the info you requested, that sort of thing. Near the middle, they'd start to go a little wonky. She'd throw in a random word or two. And by the end? No lie, she would actually type multiple letters like you do when you're pretending to fall aslepogohtpapotha.......szzzzzzzzz. SERIOUSLY. It's like she'd have a brain meltdown in the middle of each email, and then just send it instead of having to deal with it anymore. It was the weirdest thing. And THAT is what this sign reminds me of. Crazytown with the wonktastic emails. I hope she got the help she needed. Or some rest. Whatever it was.

Good times.

(Thanks, AB!)

For lunch today...

So, I have this weird little quirk. I can't eat red meat. No burgers for me. It's a medical thing, and not a choice I've made. I miss burgers terribly, and would chomp one down in seconds if only my insides were better at dealing with such things. As a result, I've become something of a chicken sandwich connoisseur. I'm lucky in that I do really like them, and am so happy that places like The Counter remember that some of us don't do burgers, and have chicken and turkey on the menu as well. If you invite me to dinner, I will always ask where we're going, and if they have chicken on the menu. I'm super fun like that.

This is why I appreciate it when establishments have signs like this out front, to let me know that they have all kinds of options - burgers, sandwiches, salads. Wait, what kind of salad is that?

Photo by KG

We've run into this little issue before. I have no idea why CAESAR is so hard to spell properly. In addition, HOMEMADE doesn't really need a hyphen, since it's just a word. It's a tragic shame that Billy went to all the trouble of having this sign made for his awesome restaurant, but then didn't bother to have it proofread. I'm actually a little impressed that no one has defaced this sign yet, trying to fix the errors. No one is more filled with righteous indignation and a misplaced sense of entitlement than a grammar nerd who's spotted an error.

I should know.

(Thanks, KG!)

A debate

Don't worry. This debate isn't anything like the one on TV last night. No, this one is more relevant to our interests. Real journalists, I'll need your help with this one, since I'm not really sure how this one should roll. Here's a link to the original article. Check out the last paragraph. Here's what it says:

Sometimes the screengrabs turn out really cleanly.

It's clear from this snippet that tenants is the wrong word. It's tenets. BUT! Here's my question. If the person being quoted said tenants, shouldn't it get a [sic] right after the incorrect word? And if the error is that of the reporter's, well, then should we form a posse and go slap him silly? Because honestly, tenants vs tenets seems to be a bit of a rookie mistake to me.

What say you, readers? [sic] or posse? Let me know, because I have to schedule in some time for the posse. Let's get brunch first.

(Thanks, AW!)

Important tips

This submission is from loyal reader MR, who always finds some crazy stuff to send in. This one isn't a spelling fail, but it's still delightfully wonky. Have a look:

Photo by MR

Because, when you hit return, that bullet point comes up automatically, and it can be a REAL TRIAL to remove it. And by REAL TRIAL, I mean placing the cursor at the beginning of the line and hitting delete. EXHAUSTING. But why did the person hit return at that point? And why did they capitalize almost every word? What does it mean? Is it a code? A secret message? A desperate plea for us to take the watering of our plants more seriously? I just don't know. But I'm a little exhausted myself at this point.

(Thanks, MR!)

Short and not-so-sweet

Just have a look:

Photo by TER

Well, ok, dude. I'm sure you're right. You go ahead and PROVE that to us.

TER, I think you should probably watch L&O instead.

(Thanks, TER!)

DUMB phone

There's been a lot of complaining going on regarding the recent changeover to the Maps app on the new iPhone. I haven't encountered any issues with it yet, but I haven't really gone anywhere yet. So, there's that. Getting horribly, miserably lost isn't one of those things I'm really scared of, so that's handy. When I was first driving, I DID get horribly lost, and I was more than an hour late for where I was going, and I freaked out, and was crying, and all of that, and ever since then, I tend to be more calm about these things. Sometimes, you get lost. It happens. However, if I had my phone on me, I would be very frustrated if it took me to the wrong place entirely. But that would never even come close to my outrage if I saw this on the screen just before arriving:

Photo by TER

FLAMES! AT THE SIDE OF MY FACE!

I'm not even going to tell y'all the correct spelling, because I feel certain that EVERYONE ON EARTH knows.

OY.

(Thanks, TER!)

Presented Without Comment.

Photo by DS

(Thanks, DS!)

Yay!

Friday's here! Aren't you glad? Me, too. I could really get used to this work-for-pay thing. It's going well so far.

As always, please keep an eye out for spelling and grammar errors. Send them to me at the usual places: Facebook, Twitter, email. Thanks!

Also, here are a couple of my Lucky links, in case you missed them. Enjoy!

Stay tuned for today's Presented Without Comment, and have a good weekend. See y'all Monday!

The rain in Spain...

We often think of our smartphones as, well, smart, right? They're little computers. They're supposed to know things. Be able to look things up for you. Help you out. Generally be knowledgeable, right? Wrong. I recently bought the new iPhone, and I haven't even attempted to use Siri, because I've been assured she doesn't know very much. I was scared to use the new Maps app, in case I ended up on the beach somewhere in South America. They can't entirely be trusted. Also:

Those are actually pretty cool temps for June in Florida, right? 

Merritt Island is spelled with two Ts. TWO. Just like I tell everyone else, phone, the internet can guide you. LET IT SHOW YOU THE WAY.

Yeesh. Place names should be CRAZY easy to check. If, y'know, anyone was bothering to do so.

Thursday Linkage

Morning, all. How about a little link roundup to start your day? Off we go.

Here's a very specific tumblr of restaurants misspelling "prix fixe." It is to laugh.
(restaurantsmisspellingprixfixe.tumblr.com - h/t CP)

I think I'd be VERY careful with permanent ink. More careful than this person, anyway.
(cheezburger.com - h/t AD)

You know what's harder than you think? Spelling Basset Hound correctly.
(NJ.com - h/t MLW)

Almost every single sentence in this poorly written article is its own paragraph, for no apparent reason. Behold its majesty.
(cfnews13.com - h/t JR)

Here's an inspiring story of a CEO who refuses to hire anyone using poor grammar. #hero
(huffingtonpost.com - h/t JR)

And finally, here's why it's hard out here for a grammar Nazi.
(buzzfeed.com - h/t JC)

A story of shale.

Mom read and reread this article, but she couldn't find an explanation for that extra E, so she went ahead and sent it on to me. Take a look:

Scan by Mom

In case you don't see it, check the very first word in the headline. And  it looks like if the E had been left out, the two lines at the top would have been even! Even is pretty.

I am also confused by why shale is getting capitalized here. Is it part of the name? In addition, does Marcellus Shale really stand alone, without requiring a formation after it? Those of you who are smarter than me, please explain this to me. I will be grateful.

(Thanks, Mom!)

A long time ago...

...in a galaxy far, far away, some jerk appropriated the opening scroll from Star Wars and misspelled a word.

Photo by AD

That is not the word you're looking for. Do or do not. There is no try. I feel a great disturbance in my eyes after looking at this. Many Bothans died to bring us this nonsense. IT'S A TRAAAAPPP!!!!!

Someone ought to buy this stuck-up, halfwit, scruffy-looking nerfherder a dictionary. PRIVILEGES.

(Nearly all typed off the top of my head. Big geek. HUGE.)

Also, Han shot first. Never doubt it.

(Thanks, AD!)

NOT AGAIN!

I need y'all to see this before we chat.

That is blurrier than I remember it.

Now, as we all know, you don't get to be a doctor AND have all that business after your name. One or the other, but not both. But I feel like the other language here is also kind of a mess. "U.S. Space Shuttle Missions" almost sounds like a non sequitur. Would a comma at the end of the phrase above it help? And if you were an author, and your book was about to come out, wouldn't you want them to include a date? And in this setting, wouldn't the website look better with a www preceding it?

This whole thing just feels really slapped together, and that's a shame. What do you think? How would you fix it?

Politics, y'all.

Politics can really get under your skin. Election season is a tough time for everyone, and not just those running for office. Our phones and televisions are under attack, and forests are denuded in order to create enough paper to send out those very handy flyers that arrive every day in the mail that I don't even look at.

But you know things have gotten bad when even the Washington Post snaps under the pressure. Fortunately, they've had the decency to go back and fix their error, so you won't see it when you click through the link, unless you check the address bar, where they weren't able to make the correction. But here. I saved it for you. Here's what that headline originally said:

I never quite get a fully clean screengrab.

Ah, homophone. It'll get ya every time. Sad trombone. This is what politics hath wrought!

(Thanks, SK!)

Available for consulting

Obviously, Cameron Diaz doesn't run her life decisions by me. But I do question her choice to pose for those sexytown pics running in Esquire UK's November issue. Listen, there's no doubt she looks fantastic. But I do kind of wish hot women would start telling photographers that they don't have to strip down to their underwear and pose as though they're currently having sex in order to sell magazines. I think it's far less empowering than people claim it is. But hey, that's my opinion, and as I said, Cammy D isn't checking with me before she does stuff. I just wanted to get that out of the way before I posted this link, in which you'll get to see one of the images.

Since that's not where I want you to look anyway. Focus your eyes a bit south of Cammy's tush, and you'll see a just-as-disturbing phrase. Disturbing for a couple of reasons, that is.

My homecoming hairstyle was SUPER 80s. Even though it was the 90s.

1st line, my friends. "Guess THEY'RE back on." This one drives me NUTS, y'all. Telling the difference between when each they're/their/there should be used is absurdly easy. THEY ARE back on. THEY'RE back on. JERKS. At least TRY. And it's correct in the next line.

Jump to the last line. I'm confident DR. MARTENS would appreciate you spelling their brand name correctly, website. In case y'all were wondering, the 1460 is the basic 8 hole boot, and yes, if you're in college, you actually do NEED a pair, so get on that, college students. You can't be an angry, politically-aware college student activist without them. Also, they'll drive your parents insane because they are ugly and clunky. So, yay!

(Thanks, MR!)

Subject to change without notice

I think we've talked about this before, but crafting an email to sell your brand must be difficult. You want to say just the right thing to keep people interested and make sure they want what you've got, but you can't go too big. You have to maintain the tone of the brand, too, whatever that is. So, it must be a relief when you finish the email. You get all your HTML all worked out, images, any graphics, all that stuff. WHEW! Just have to type up a subject line, and get that baby out to the customers! Yay!

But sometimes, that's where it all falls apart. Have a looksy.

Do tell. 

I just don't even really have anything to say about this. Except that this sounds more like a digestive issues thing rather than a fashion thing, and I'm pretty sure you never really want those two to mix.

Another one:

One day, we should debate the necessity of "Spider-Man 2"

Do you want to talk about how many times I tried to get a clean crop of that above subject line? No? Me, either. Let's pretend it looks totally clean. ANYWAY, Shailene probs had no idea her name was complicated. After all, they were able to get it right in the email:

Kevin Kline as Errol Flynn? Tell me more. 

That's TWO letters they missed in the subject line. TWO. I feel like two goes beyond a typo. Two is just an error. An error they sent out to all their subscribers.

That's awkward. Because you know none of those "get your email back" things ever really work. So, it's just out there in the world. I'm pretty sure this is one of the reasons the liquid lunch was invented. Go on, email typer, throw a few back! Maybe you screwed up some famous girl's name. But at least you'll be too drunk to care!

Happy Monday!

(Thanks, CR!)

Presented Without Comment.

Stolen from Facebook. Please don't sue!

(Thanks, JR!)

Saturday eve

Today's a big day, y'all. Today I get my first paycheck from my new job! Yay! I'm going to spend the weekend buying All The Things. I love them all!

You will all be pleased to know that I did NOT get fired from my other gig at Lucky Magazine's website. Here is my latest post. I was told that another post of mine would be going up later on today, so watch out for it! Yay! Tell your friends!

Please keep an eye out for spelling and grammatical errors out there, y'all. The blog's stock is running a bit low! As always, you can send them to me over the email, on Facebook, or Twitter.

Also, if you need to know how to do a screengrab on a Mac, just ask! I'm not really sure how to do it on a PC, but I'm sure some helpful person will post it in the comments. If you do send me a screengrab, please also send the link to the article, so I can go back to check to see if they've corrected it. Thanks!

Ok, today's Presented Without Comment is coming up soon, and then, have a good weekend! See you back here on Monday, my friends.

Believe in your message!

This is a very wordy patch, with a strong point to make, I assume.

Stolen from Facebook. Please don't sue! 

Dear person refusing to learn a foreign language: perhaps you'd like to spend a little more time learning your native language. ACCOMMODATE has two Ms. You are making yourself look dumb, and no one will take you seriously if you don't respect your own message well enough to spellcheck it.

I know. I say it a lot. Maybe we should have stickers made! Stickers that are spelled correctly, of course.

(Thanks, KG!)

SO MANY WORDS

I've already lost the will to live. Have a look.

screengrab by DC

Legalese is always a bit of a trial to get through (see what I did there?), so the least they can do is try to make it a little less confusing, right? Use punctuation properly, choose the right words, etc. Check out the first bullet point: "...and for loss, damage OR delay of goods and baggage" is what they mean, I think. I'm honestly not even sure. There are so many words here, all in a row. I'm finding it hard to concentrate.

What is this business about them having the right to change the terms of the contract? Is that, like, while you're in mid-air?

What do you think? Are there other fixes you'd make? Adjustments? Any way to make it a little more interesting?

(Thanks, DC!)

Violence in kids' sports

Once again, JR sends in a troubling sign from her kid's world. This was at his t-ball game's snack bar.

Photo by JR

Peanuts survived without apostrophe abuse. So why couldn't pistachios make the cut? You also have to wonder why the sign doesn't just say "All snacks $1.00." That would have saved everyone some pain. Including whoever it was that had to cut out those jagged backgrounds.

Let's start a campaign in which each one of us tells ONE person that plural words don't require an apostrophe. Tell that person to then tell someone. And so on. Eventually, everyone will know.

Oh, wait. We already have something like that. It's called SCHOOL. Gah. I understand that kids sports have become scary business. That parents are beating up refs and other parents over calls made. Listen, people. That's not the problem. THIS IS. Maybe your kid grows up having lost a few t-ball games. It's good for him or her. But growing up thinking this word needs an apostrophe? Now THAT is a problem with repercussions well into the future. I think y'all know who needs to be called out at the next game.


(Thanks, JR)

Today's lunch...

Look, I don't know about y'all, but I'm gonna head to Pittsburgh to have lunch with my friend MSM, who sent me this menu. This place looks AWESOME, right?

Photo by MSM

I've read over this menu a couple times now, and I only see the one error (in the chile relleno description), which is a relief. Because I want nothing to sully the imaginary lunch I'm having at this restaurant right now. REFRIEND beans for everyone! Well, I'll pass. I prefer black beans.

Seriously, though. If the rest of the menu is even half as tempting as this portion, there's a good chance I would never leave. I can't even get that worked up about the spelling error. I'm rendered almost speechless.

EVERYONE ENJOY IT.

(Thanks, MSM!)

Welcome back!

So, as I said in my update the other day, I started a new job. I'm back at a company I've worked at before, so I'm happy to see all my former coworkers, and catch up on gossip, find out what's going on, and most importantly, GET PAID. For which I must fill out paperwork. Featured on the paperwork was this:

Photo by ME!

Ahhhh. Having the wrong ITS turn up on a pre-printed form I have to fill out on my first day is ONE way of welcoming me back with open arms, that's for sure. I would have also accepted cake.

Yay, job!

Well, I was born in a small town

Look, I don't really know anything about it, but I'm going to guess that working at a small town newspaper can be difficult. I mean, HUGE newspapers are laying people off or even shutting down entirely at alarming rates, so small newspapers must have it rough. I mean, I'm pretty sure my own small town's paper was run by a couple people, an inquisitive raccoon, and the squeaky hinge on the front door. Until it folded years ago, that is. Regardless, it has to be a struggle to keep the paper going and stay relevant. Everyone has to be all social media-ed up now in order to keep up with the kids. If you're a small paper, do you hire someone to do that stuff for you, or do you just have someone on staff learn how? Obviously, Judy in bookkeeping is going to have to try her hand at the Facebook. She's not thrilled about it. Judy's not a copyeditor. She's an accountant. This isn't what she signed on for. She already has to make sure the classified ads run properly every week, in addition to her bookkeeping. It's such a hassle. Not to mention how everyone has to chat with her whenever they pick up their printouts just because she sits near the printer. It's not necessary! But they do it anyway.

So, the Facebook. Her kids are on it, but she's not so interested. She hasn't really looked into it. And now she has to sum up these silly stories she has to post, and look, she's really buy. Wait. What?

Screengrab by KG

Oh, Judy. You can delete out the link once it's attached to the post. Also, I'm sad that you got CONTROVERSIAL right, and missed BUSY. Clearly just a typo, but you can check your work before you submit. It's ok! Facebook will wait.

Wanna give it another try? Of course you do.

Screengrab by KG

Judy. It's ok to not type all the words you're thinking. You can part with a few, and the sentence will be that much better! Maybe even throw in a period or two, and have separate sentences! Also, spellcheck won't always save you. SUN, not son.

Oh, Judes. I hope you have a good story to tell me when I get to the printer. Because this stuff is breaking my heart.

(Thanks, KG!)

What's for lunch?

My friend AS continues to risk life and limb by taking pictures for this here blog while in traffic! I've told her it's not worth it. Save yourself! But she soldiers on. Here's her latest submission.

Photo by AS

Ok, it's a little hard to see. So I cleaned it up a bit. Have a look.

Better? Maybe.

So, it's, um, still a little hard to see. But trust us when we tell you that the top sandwich in the HOT SANDS section reads HAMBUGER. In fact, all the burgers there are spelled BUGER. Which is, y'know, wrong. I mean, well done on the consistency side, there, sign maker. But still. FAIL.

(Thanks, AS! Please don't die taking pictures for me. I'll feel bad.)

The red seat cushions are safety devices.

Some of you may know that I used to work at Universal Studios back in the day. Both in Florida and here in Los Angeles. Some of you may also know that I didn't exactly enjoy my time at the Los Angeles studio. In both places, I worked as a tour guide. Yes, that means here in LA, I did the tram tour. It was a time I sometimes refer to as "soul-sucking." Listen, if you're an actor, and you want practice at keeping your show fresh and lively, there is no better place to do that than on the tram tour. 5 shows a day, 5 days a week, with audiences that completely ignore you. Sometimes they hang their kids over the side of the tram to pee. Sometimes, they change their clothes right in front of you. And sometimes, they ask you to stop talking for a bit so they can translate what you've said so far for their friends. If you can keep yourself and at least some of the audience engaged after all that nonsense, well, you probably have a fantastic career ahead of you in the performing arts. If you're like me, and not really an actor, you may get notes on your reviews like "needs to smile more," or "needs to stick to the script and not improvise jokes." Sarcasm is my spirit animal, y'all. My refuge in times of stress. MY HAPPY PLACE, DAMMIT.

Ahem. So, when my friend DH sent this to me, I was pretty gleeful. Because, let's be honest. I'm happy whenever Universal fails, even when it's in some small way.

Someone's pinky has fallen in love with the shift key, and can't stay away from it.  

Look, I understand that trying to decide between PRINCIPLE and PRINCIPAL can be a challenge. That we were all taught that the PRINCIPAL is your pal, and so you'd want to default to everything else being PRINCIPLE. But that simply isn't the case. You are allowed to look things up on the internet. And when you do, you will learn that this is supposed to be PRINCIPAL.

Here's a great article from Grammar Girl that will help you make the choice yourself.

The lesson here? Even when you're not in doubt, you should probably take the time to look some things up.

(Thanks, DH!)

Presented Without Comment.

Photo by SC

(Thanks, SC and AW!)

The END.

Well, we made it back to Friday! It was supposed to be my first week back at the old job, but I sprained my ankle last Saturday, so I didn't go in until Thursday, because I have to park down the street from the office, and attempting to walk that distance would have just been a comedy. However, easing back in to working full time worked well for me!

I hope you had a good week! And that you have excellent weekend plans!

Here's your weekly reminder to keep an eye out for spell fails. You can send them to me via email, Facebook, or Twitter. Thanks!

As for this week's Lucky blog post, it, um, never appeared. I don't know. Maybe I've been fired? I'm not sure. As soon as one turns up, I'll post it!

Happy weekend! Keep an eye out for today's Presented, and I'll see you Monday.

It's like a kind of torture

My friend JR spotted this while checking out The Muppet Show on DVD. This is apparently from the Behind the Scenes Trivia section of season 1:

Photo by JR

Trivia: THISE is how they spell this in the UK! They usually add unnecessary Us to words, but this time, it's an E!

KIDDING!

Someone was maybe typing too fast and hit return in the wrong spot and then didn't go back and check their work? It's odd to see a typo like this at the beginning of a line, since that usually catches someone's eye. I mean, PISODE is simply not a word. I googled it, and google wouldn't lie.

Poor Statler & Waldorf, trapped behind the chyron, so they can't see it. I'm pretty sure they'd heckle the crap out of whoever typed this thing.

A quickie

This is a quick one, y'all, to get the day started.

You have to tell me what you think of this. Obvs, I have my own opinions. Here, have a look:

Screengrab by IU

SEA is obviously a play on words, right? So, does it need to be set apart somehow? I think so. Quotes would be fair, as would caps, perhaps, since this is just a FB ad. It seems like a mistake without any indicator to point out that they're in on the joke.

I think I would also find a way to highlight the title of the movie, since that's what the ad is for. Maybe italics? Or maybe use the caps lock here? I don't think a FB ad has to follow a style manual. But it could be a stronger ad, for sure.

What do you think?

(Thanks, IU!)

Is November here yet?

It's election season! Yay! Barf. Is it over yet? The election ads, robo-calls, tense moments between coworkers, family members, etc. It's all just too much, isn't it? Yes, this is important, and yes, I do think you should vote. But man, we are bombarded with this nonsense constantly, right? I mean, sometimes you just want to go on Facebook and watch some stupid videos posted by your friends. You don't want to see ads there, too! Not like this one, anyway.

screengrab by SH

This ad is speaking to Prop 37 as though it were a dog. NO, Prop 37. Bad Prop 37! Which is just stupid. If you want people to agree with you, and do as you say, shouldn't you be explicit? Tell them EXACTLY what you want them to do? "Vote no ON Prop 37." A verb and a preposition would work wonders here. Clarity is a marvelous thing.

Don't even get me started on dragging poor, defenseless pizza into this nonsense. HOW DARE THEY?

(Thanks, SH!)

It's not what you think it is

Is there any reason to not love Trader Joe's? Ok, sure, their frozen meals have an UNHOLY amount of sodium in them, and their flowers do seem to die very quickly, but hey, you're paying less than half what you were paying at your regular grocery store, right? What's your favorite item from there? I'm currently on a chicken burger kick. I love those things, and I have decided to pretend they aren't TERRIBLE for you. Also, they sell a sharp cheddar cheese that's delicious. 

And, well, maybe that's the other problem with them. You can't do ALL your grocery shopping there. You can't pick up your beloved Froot Loops or Coke. You have to go to another store for that. And, well, that kind of doesn't work for me. I don't want to be a 3-store household, just to get my grocery shopping done for the week. It's too hit or miss. Just like their proofreading department, apparently:

Photo by N

Obviously, the bottom pic there is blown up so you can see the moment when spellcheck wouldn't save them. In case it's not clear, this is the expiration date on the pie. That should be a BY, and not a BUY. Unless, of course, they're trying to say this is a best buy on 10-3-12. But I don't think so, because that's today, and I saw this picture yesterday. 

And that's another thing. If this pic was taken in the last couple days, that is a SHOCKINGLY short edible window for this pie. I'm pretty sure when my mom bakes a pie at home, it's good for 5 days or so. Preservatives, people. They are the lifeblood of our nation. Without them, we end up with, y'know, pies that go bad after a day or so. And that serves no one. 

Pies for everyone! All day! All the time! FOREVER!

(Thanks, MJ, for sharing N's photo with me!)

Memories...

Take a look:

That's a lot of likes.

My friend AW sent me the link to this page. It's a FB page, obviously, and it appears to focus on 80s stuff that isn't around anymore. And, well, I'd like to pick on this nonsense, but the page comes with a disclaimer:

Yeah, ok.

This is clearly a person who enjoys punctuation. I'd quibble with the ellipses and the colon and the question mark, but hey. I'm just gonna give this one a pass, since he or she WANTS to fix it, but FB is being difficult. I think we've all been on the receiving end of FB being difficult. Y'know?

(Thanks, AW!)

DUMB

Sometimes, I like to take a moment to remind you guys that I am essentially a doofus. I am not an expert at spelling and grammar. I'm just pretending to be one on the internet. Here's today's proof.

RAGE!

I took this picture because I was FILLED WITH RAGE. How dare they get the title of a movie wrong? It's so easy to check it! We're in Los Angeles! Quentin Tarantino might be watching! That's just embarrassing. And this is SUCH a pet peeve of mine. You have to reproduce titles the way the owner wants them done, even if it's weird or awkward. I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before.

Anyway, the point is, of course, that this is not THAT movie. This is a different movie, which is titled in exactly this manner. And I didn't learn this until I googled just now to make sure I was spelling the name of the OTHER movie correctly. So, yeah. Still a doofus. It's good for me to get a reminder now and then. SIGH.

I have to go find something ELSE to rage about now. I'm sure that won't be too hard.

Off to a bad start

In prepping for this coming week, where I might be crazy busy, I went in and did some digging through my saved stuff, and found this submission. I SWEAR I used it already, but my chart says no, and nothing comes up when I search through old posts. So, did I?

Help me, loyal readers. You're my only hope. Here's the link to the story. And here's the headline:

If you say so.

That's fine. All the words are spelled properly. I'm not personally a huge fan of the single quotation mark, but that's just a quibble. And here's the first line of the story:

Clearly, this is all stuff I'll never watch.

Possessive its = no apostrophe. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. I feel like we can expect better of EW. Right?

(Dudes, I don't want to go on and on if I already did. I'm scared. So I'm just gonna stop here. You feel me.)

(Thanks, SH!)

A little thinking to start the day

Good morning! We're all back at work today, so I hope you're hanging in there. Let's get going, shall we?

My friend MLW sent this to me a while back, and I wanted to read the entire article before posting it, and it's kinda long, so I put it off a while, and, well, I finally got there. It's got a few errors going on, so let's look at a couple. First, here's the reason MLW sent it in:

screengrab by Me!

This is a little bit of a clunky graph, but of course, the big offender is that FOR missing its R. "which he'd been making FOR years." That's a weird one, because spellcheck should have caught it. This is where ignoring the squiggles can land you!

Here's the other thing I wanted to share with you. Just have a look, and then we'll discuss:

DRAMA.

Hari-kari isn't the word. Yes, that's how we usually say it. Common usage and all that. But technically, it's hara-kiri. Here's the wiki page for it, which is very interesting.  Terms like this should be avoided in writing unless you are REALLY CERTAIN of how to spell it and how to use it. I'm not absolutely certain that flushing an established brand down the toilet, so to speak, is akin to ritual suicide. Seems a little dramatic, no? I'm also not sure you should use a metaphor to explain a metaphor. Why bother explaining, then? It's a risky endeavor, is what I'm saying, and should probably be left to those willing to do a little more fact-checking and research. Well, in language, anyway. The article does appear to be thoroughly researched, subject-wise. 

What do you think? Do you think common usage wins here?  Do tell.

(Thanks, MLW!)