What's for lunch?

Sometimes I like to think about what I'd serve if I had my own restaurant. Likely, it would be a mishmash of all my favorite foods, assembled together with no rhyme or reason. I mean, come on. If you hired a chef, wouldn't you have that person cook your favorites daily? And a pizza/pasta/sandwich/pastry shop doesn't sound SO bad, does it? It would have to include places for you to assemble your own of all the above. Well, except for pastries. Let's leave that to the experts. Sometimes, the hoi polloi come up with good ideas for foods, right? It doesn't always require a professional food preparer. And food is one of those things that's SO personal. No one thinks of themselves as "The Person who Enjoys Disgusting Foods Sprinkled on a Pizza," but at least one of your friends thinks so.

So, when I first saw this sign sent to me by my friend ND, my first thought was that the sandwich sounded ALMOST good. SO CLOSE.

Photo by ND

I mean, I have my suspicions about egg white on a sandwich. Or even egg whites. Whatever. Also, I loathe AVOCADO, regardless of how you spell it. It always tastes vaguely of paste to me. And I was not one of those paste-eaters in school.

Wait, is this a sandwich? Maybe it's a scramble, like the item above. Just served with whole wheat toast. I don't know. I like that on the item above, they felt the need to clarify that the spinach was, in fact, a tortilla. I don't know about you, but I was totally expecting that business to show up wrapped in spinach leaves. Tiny baby spinach leaves.

Another thing I'm compelled to point out is that this sign writer has exquisite handwriting. Mine looks nothing like this. Doctors are unable to read my handwriting. I learned to type as soon as I could so I would no longer have to write anything down. My handwriting looks the way the adults on the Peanuts sound. Unintelligible and ultimately unnecessary. Which is why I think this is more of a shame. Such pretty penmanship shouldn't be wasted on misspelled words.

So sad. But I am kinda hungry now.

(Thanks, ND!)